Today, something totally unexpected happened to me. I drove thru the night last night because I sat all day and picked up at 11:00pm. I was going to stay at the TA in Denver but decided it would be better to get out of the city as to avoid traffic. If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you know how I dislike driving at night. Well, the road was wide open and for the most part straight. It was the first time I actually enjoyed driving at night. The plan was to make it to Wood River, NE. around 6am and take a 4 hour nap, then on to Des Moines, Iowa where I would take a full nights rest.
The problem started about an hour after I left Wood River. All of a sudden I hit the wall (mentally, not physically). I have only been at home for 12hrs in the last 3 months and was due for some home time on the 10th. They gave me a run to Pittsburgh, PA. on the 8th which is the opposite direction of home. Next thing I know, this wave of emotion just runs over me making me think bad things were happening at home, feeling like I was a prisoner in this truck, second guessing my career choice, wondering if I ever might get home, to name a few. I felt like I needed to get out of the truck RIGHT NOW!!!!
I started calling some friends and talking to them to try to help get me thru it. I called the Trucker Doc (Sheryl Youngblood) and she spent a couple of hours, on and off, with me on the phone trying to help me get a grip on myself. I miss my wife and a phone is no substitute for being there. So I called my DM (driver manager) and told him I was hitting the wall, he said "what wall, what do you mean”. I told him that I really needed to get home for a few days as the walls of this truck are closing in on me. So now he is working out a way to swap my load with another to get me to Cali.
The two things I need right now are lots of rest and some time away from the truck at home to recharge my batteries. It was strange how all of a sudden that happened when just hours before I was feeling fine and happy. In fact, I have been really enjoying myself this whole time, dreaming of where I would go next and who I might meet, wondering what the next challenge might be, then BAM, like a ton of bricks.
Have you had experiences like this? Tell me about them by clicking on the comment button below or by emailing me at:
warrentrucker@yahoo.com
Hitting the Wall. An Unexpected Occurrence
Posted on Tue, Aug 09 2005 @ 4:38 PM [PST]
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Comments
I took a contract in Virginia on very short notice and drove there only stopping for 2-4 hour naps. By the time I got there I was having strong emotional feelings about my daughter and nervousness about my new contract assignment.
That was nothing compared to how hard you've been charging the last three months. You did the right thing by asking for help. Take a well deserved, overdue break and you'll be fine.
Don't hesitate to call me even if its at night if you just need to talk.
Comment By:
Mark Stetson on Wed, Aug 10 2005 @ 6:23 AM [PST]
Comment By:
Mark Stetson on Wed, Aug 10 2005 @ 6:23 AM [PST]
Ho boy do I ever know what you mean. I left home the 15 of May and I will not get home until next week the 15 of August. I finally got to see NM yesterday as I was passing through going to Joplin, MO. You get so lonely out here that you begin think that maybe there isn't anyone else out here but you. I know my wife is there and I talk to her all the time but face to face is better. For me to make it though, as an O/O, I have to run longer periods of time away from the house. That doesn't make me better than you but this big baby I'm driving requires the feed bag a lot and I have to buy the oats. The wife and I like a little money to spend after caring for this cantankerous, whining baby.
Comment By:
lenutt on Wed, Aug 10 2005 @ 8:24 PM [PST]
Comment By:
lenutt on Wed, Aug 10 2005 @ 8:24 PM [PST]
Warren you are one of the strongest people i know and have the ability to get through anything. This mental wall hits us all at one point or another in our life, how you handled it though says so much about you as a man. To able to ask for help and state what you need. I am glad to hear that you will be coming home soon and know that this is only another learning block on your road to success. Keep going, dont give up and rest your mind knowing you will get home. There are many out there who wish you the best and will always be there for you.
Once you have a chance to recharge your mind and body I know you will be back on the road and with a fresh sense of what you want to accomplish and will have more insight in how to do that. "The Wall" may come back at sometime but at least when it does you will know how to handle it.
Thank you for being a friend to me and for this I will always be a friend for you.
Comment By:
Lela on Thu, Aug 11 2005 @ 5:04 PM [PST]
Comment By:
Lela on Thu, Aug 11 2005 @ 5:04 PM [PST]
C & I are praying that you get some R&R with your wife soon. You definitely deserve it. Think of all that you have accomplished & the ambition that you charge forward with, and that should help fight the doubt and despair. It will also help you bring things in balance. "Surviving isn't hard. Learning to live takes experience." (unfortunately. ) Things are going to look great again once you get some relaxation at home... The best thoughts and wishes from K-n-C.
Comment By:
K on Fri, Aug 12 2005 @ 10:21 AM [PST]
Comment By:
K on Fri, Aug 12 2005 @ 10:21 AM [PST]
Comment By:
Rick Armstrong on Tue, Aug 09 2005 @ 8:31 PM [PST]