Too Dumb to Retire

As luck would have it I had to go around Minneapolis – St. Paul, Minnesota during afternoon “rush hour”. Note aside. Why do they call it rush hour when motorists are at a crawl or standstill? Some sort of oxymoron I guess. Anyway, I noticed that I had to move over to the left lane. I put on the left turn signal and cringed as I contemplated having to force a 4 wheeler into the median go get into the lane. I peeked into the mirror to see which SUV I’d have to force out of the lane, (SUV’s own the left lane in case you weren’t aware), but wait a minute, someone actually backed off and let me in. I checked again in my spot mirrors to make sure no one was beside me and took the lane change. WOW! That was a first. As we crept along I-694, a sign indicated I needed to get in the left lane again. Grit teeth and prepare for the next encounter was entering my mind.
Turn signal on and OH NO! Not again. Another 4 wheeler actually backed off, and blinked his lights to allow me in. Come on old man, are you dreaming or hallucinating?
Could this be true? Two motorists in a row, giving you the lane? I had to take another sip of coffee. I pinched myself just to make sure I was alive. In spite of this jolt to my consciousness I continued East. The next hazard was construction where I-35E meets 694 and another lane change. I know what I’m going to tell you next may seem as believable as Congressman William Jefferson, Democrat, Louisiana when he said. “How did that money end up in my freezer?” but what I am about to say is the absolute truth. I turned on the turn signal to change lanes and, yes, it’s absolutely true, another motorist slowed down and let me in.

People of the Twin Cities, you are going to drive 18 wheelers crazy. You’re going to see big rigs parked beside the road and drivers walking around with glazed eyes shaking their heads in disbelief. You’re going to cause wrecks. So stop this unusual behavior. Go to Chicago and take driving lessons from the sensible folks there. Go to New York and learn how to tell truckers you’re number one using the middle finger. Go to Florida and drive with the illegals who don’t have a drivers license and the blind old coots that shouldn’t have one. Believe me, the next time I have the rotten luck of going by your cities again, I’m going to do it in the wee hours of the morning when no one is around. I don’t think my nerves could tolerate that experience again.

Footnote: What a great relief and a calming of my nerves when I had the good fortune of driving I-94 through Chicago today. Peace, tranquility, drivers I could cope with. In only took me 1 hour and 47 minutes to go 22 miles through the center of town. Driving was fun again, Life is good.

Enjoy the day

Geezer

Category: General